Sunday, October 31, 2010

You can fly?

This cold hallow wooden structure that has her perched ever so slightly on its behind, brings shadow to her sunshine. The paint chips away as she strums her nails across its body, and it creeks as though it is trying to tell her to get up. She sat there in silence, watching what appears to be cloud like figures in the sky. It breaks through the blue canvas, leaving this foamy tail, trailing along side it; so strange a figure she had yet to see... It was fast but silent and it covered much of the ocean sky.
The movement of that giant piece of metal, sailed so effortlessly like a boat on calm water. They dove and ducked behind mountains, soared across homes, and flew with the birds... but at one time or another she knew they would have to crash in order to get their feet back on the ground.
You flew her heart straight into the ground and crushed her very insides with those tiny propeller blades, shredding her heart all across the runway. And with each gust of wind she would be taken farther and farther away from you... She was another passenger to you, she had gone along for your short ride; and was left to claim her own baggage. I guess it really was only a "one way" ticket to loneliness.

I walked passed her again today, she still sits in that very same spot I first saw her many months ago. Yet somehow the weather has changed and all is lost amongst the clouds. A plane goes by and a tiny tear falls from her painsaken eye, and as it falls to her hands I see a tiny piece of paper. It was her ticket from their first flight together... Her mind and soul are lost, wandering amongst the clouds; as the planes fly by, she traces her fingers along their structures, trying to remember what it felt like to really touch something...

I walk away ever so slowly, and as I turn my head to catch one more glance of her, the sky exploded, and I think a tiny smile finally perched itself onto her lips...

Sunday, October 24, 2010

I dont know how it goes...

Someone once told me as time goes by, everything works itself out, and "time" heals all wounds... is that so?! So why is it that everynight I look down at my chest and see that there is this enormous hole where my heart used to be? Inscribed all around it are words and names of people that will forever haunt my soul.
I see people each and everyday saying those three simplistic words that never seem to leave my mouth nor enter my presence. "I love you" (I even hate typing it on a screen.) Where is the meaning behind it, it seeps out like lava, not caring what/who it hurts along the way... I was never told it as a child, and guys only used it as an excuse to well you know where it goes from there. To me those words have depth and meaning and sure I'll say luv ya, ilu, luv u 2, but I dont really "mean" it. Tell me something; what parents even mean it these days? Look at mine they are divorced, and hadn't said it in over twelve years, these highschool/college relationships stricly based on juvinille problems and well most family members they have to say it, they're stuck with you. To me there is no such thing as "love" and frankly I could care less if it even existed. Society has ruined the whole meaning behind it, with the ideas of fairytales leaving us with happily ever after, and movies and books that end with the girl getting the guy. WAKE UP!!!! Reality check! Personally I'll be content being the crazy cat lady...

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Back again... to the beginning

It seems as though I keep coming back to the same corners of my mind, and I have no idea how I originally got there. I'm not sure what will come out of my words, or if anyone is out there for that matter wanting to read my tangled of a mess. At this time nothing makes sense, and my head is up their with the clouds. For all of you who have wondered what am I thinking (if that's ever the case) here it goes... Wish me luck!